Finished My Resume!!

Ok I know I've been gone all week, but I've been real busy working on my resume. I haven't done one of these in a long time, so I had to brush up on some of my skills and achievements. Please review this and please be gentle!

Carolyn E Sturgill
3 Kitty Way Virginia Beach VA 12345
(757) 867-5309
mycatzrule@gmail.com

As a devoted hard working professional, I will treat all employees and business associates with equality and deference, as learned from my cats.

Work History

Some Company
Chesapeake VA
Through 12/2008

Worked my ass off, got nothing other than a vacation denial and laid off. Never requested a raise, always showed up for work, often at the expense of my kitties and their love for me.

Leo
November 2008 - Present

Balanced testing and shooting Leo with feeding Leo, petting Leo, carrying Leo back and forth to the vet, scratching Leo, treating Leo for several ailments and parasites, running to the petstore for yet more food for Leo, and cuddling Leo. During this time, I balanced my work for Leo with a full time job at some company doing stuff that really was pretty boring, but I still did it.

Roxanne
February 2008 - Present

Spend much of my time with Roxanne attempting to cajole her hunger genes and lessen her starvation. My job includes not touching her feet, her ears or anything she doesn't want touched, while simultaneously rubbing her belly, scritching in front of her tail, rubbing her ears and scratching her lips. I have gained advanced pain skills while in the employ of Roxanne which have allowed me to be bitten and scratched while showing no outward appearance of noticing any infliction of pain. During Roxanne's employ, I have maintained employment with Niko, Leo and some company doing stuff that was really boring, but I still did it.

Niko
December 2007 - Present

Sacrificed a $3.99 betta fish, many plants and indoor trees, and countless floral arrangements for the enjoyment of Niko. Subcontracted with animal communicators to work with Niko and his small temperament issues with the other cats. During employment with Niko, I have maintained employment with Roxanne, Leo, Oscar, Spot, the aforementioned deceased betta fish and some company doing stuff that was really boring, but I still did it.

References and further employment history available upon request.